God's New Method of Humbling Mankind...and Super Mario Bros.

Actually, God's new method of humbling the human race is really an old one. However, the reason I call it new is that the old stuff doesn't seem to be working so well.

Wars? So 7 years ago.

Famine....someone get me a dictionary.

Death of the firstborn child? Fine....that one might work, but it's only been done once anyway.

No, I'm referring to good old Influenza. Now, I've noticed a disturbing trend as an adult. Where are the good old 'sick' days?

You know what I'm talking about. You've got a low grade fever, you get to stay home from school, lay in bed watching cartoons, getting food brought to you, and taking a much deserved nap (gotta catch up on some sleep from all those sleep overs!) Gone are those glory days!

Now, whenever I'm sick, it's with a vengeance. And why does it have to be nausea EVERY SINGLE TIME?!

Raise your hand when this starts sounding familiar:

1 AM - First session of worshipping the porcelain god.....followed with a curtain call and Montezuma's Revenge.

1 AM to 3 AM - Involuntary Moaning and Jesse McCartney's 'Beautiful Soul' being replayed over and over in your head (make the pain stop!)

3 AM - The worst and most humiliating moment: I am, again, worshipping the porcelain god; but holding on for dear life so that Montezuma doesn't make a mess on the floor.

In a very real sense it's like Major Payne realizing that he is useless in this new world. Bring on the BBQ rat! Luckily, I made it through the ordeal with some dignity left over.

3 AM to 5 AM - Back to Jesse being looped by DEVL Radio.

5 AM - Montezuma wasn't done with me.

5:30 AM - The Boss's alarm goes off.

Final Score:
God 3
Rubber Dagger - Negative Infinity (it's going to take me a while to get my dignity back again)

Speaking of which, I did go with Dagger Jr., The Boss, and the Ladies to a Halloween party. For 3 years now I've been trying to convince Dagger Jr. to go as Yoda so I could have the excuse of dressing up as Obi Wan Kenobi....so, of course, I get to dress up as Luigi while the smaller man gets to be Mario.

Seriously. Do I have to play 2nd fiddle ALL the time?

Double Seriously. It WAS fun faking an Italian accent though, even though nobody seemed able to laugh at the Super Mario Bros jokes I was making. After the party The Boss let me know that my accent was so bad nobody could understand what I was saying!

I swear with a blood oath....next year is Yoda and Obi Wan!