Daredevil Dad

It's that special time of year again, when I become a real life daredevil. Of course, this is completely against my nature. My general idea of daring-do is getting up off the comfy sofa in my living room.

So, once again, I put on my daredevil supersuit (an old San Francisco 49ers pullover hoodie), delved into the depths of our attic, busted out our ladders and prepared to put up our Christmas lights.

I would submit this may not seem like much of an ordeal to most folks. In fact, I remember the good ol' days when all I needed was a small ladder, a staple gun, and the lights. That was before we found our dream home that prominently features 20 degree roof slopes, and are so high I have to actually borrow an extremely tall ladder from my neighbor. And, no, I am too cheap to pay someone else to put them up.

Keep in mind - I'm not completely stupid here. I've replaced the staple gun with these white clips that slide onto the shingles. This helps reduce the likelihood of free falling from the highest peak of my roof. Still, being up that high with the wind blowing like it does during this time of year allows me to have several 'life flashing before my eyes' moments.

How I miss our first small home with the low shingles. You know, come to think of it, I guess I long to be poor again - even if it's just for one day a year.

Watch Dog - The Germaphobe

I recently volunteered at Dagger Jr.'s school to be a Watch D.O.G.S. For those not familiar with the program, dads volunteer to go into their children's school, work in the various classrooms, patrol hallways, and play with the kids. The idea is to have a constant positive male role model for those children who don't have one in the out-of-school lives.

Now, I must say I had a good time overall. Man, has school changed since I was a kid! Now, instead of neat rows of single desks and pure order in the classroom, you have kids grouped into pods of 4 working together. Also, there is constant activity with kids getting down and retrieving things or working with the teacher. I got to 'help' the 4th class do a science experiment. Plus I got to play with Dagger Jr. during recess.

One of the sacred duties of the Watch D.O.G.S. is to give 'high fives' to the kids as they walk by, or during lunch. In fact, during the lunch hours my job was to open bottle lids, open containers, give ketchup and mustard, and (of course) pass out Sporks!

As the day went on, and especially during lunch, I found my germaphobe meter going out of control. Soon I was diving for the nearest Germ-X bottle. At one point I even took a quick bath in the stuff - OK maybe not; but I can't tell you how many times I thought about all the sick germs on the kids hands.

I guess it didn't help that the kids were trying to tenderize my hand by winding up as hard as they could. My hand was ready to cook by the time school was over, and I slinked home to crash.

America the Lazy

Welcome to Socialism everyone!



In case you've been hiding in a closet the United States has just decided it has given up on the free market and self reliance that has solidified this country as The world power. Barack Obama is the antithesis of these American traits. He believes that you and I can't think well enough for ourselves, but that a bureaucratic system can. When people fail, he believes they should be given money from the government, which is stolen from successful individuals.

This election came down to two issues; both are very revealing about our current culture, but only one is truly important. The first issue revolved around race. A huge reason Mr. Obama was elected was due to his skin color. I understand first hand how terrible racism and prejudice is. I also understand why it's so terrible - because it shouldn't even matter. Same with this election - it shouldn't have even mattered. But, because there are so many lemmings out there, it held huge sway with the populace. Race should have been a footnote compared to the second issue at hand.

The second issue was the direction the country was deciding to take. Did we, as a nation, want to try and preserve the systems that have provided a foundation for a wildly successful nation, or do we want to pattern our culture after Europe? It is very enticing. Have everything provided to us, subsidized, righted. We won't have to think for ourselves - just feel. We become reactionary - not proactive or preemptive. The price, however, is very high. Our freedom.

Not our physical freedom, but an emotional freedom, a financial freedom, a self-reliant freedom... and we decided to give it all away.

The saddest part is most of us will never be able to figure out where all the problems began.

Super Dad - or not

I finally got a semi-creative idea to spend a little time with my 2 oldest children. Last week Dagger Jr. complained that he didn't get to stay up with me to watch my pre-recorded (YAY DVR!) Dallas Cowboys football game.

In addition The Boss and I have banned the children from eating outside of the kitchen - specifically the living room (think spills, crumbs and stains on carpet and couch.) Never mind that they try to sneak food out of the kitchen on a regular basis.

Thus, it was with great excitement, that I came up with an idea all by myself (insert Atta Boy here.) I would bring home a scrum-diddly-umptious Banana Foster's Cheesecake for dessert to share with them - in the living room (blanket covering the floor, mind you - I'm not suicidal) - and begin watching the football game. Greatness!

The reaction... my moment of paternal bliss where my children realize that I DON'T rely on The Boss for everything; that I do care, and I'm here to help them have a good time too... turned into Meltdown City.

Maybe my delivery was all wrong, maybe it was the fact that I had to turn off the Wii. All I know is that Dagger Jr. threw himself on the floor, got himself grounded and wound up in tears. I hate Mario.

My daughter at least tried some of the dessert before politely saying she was done. I've never seen the girl pass up dessert before.

Survey SAYS.... Dad sucks rotten eggs.